Dating in 2023 is Hyper-Competitive and How to Still Do Well Online

The introduction

I’m going to share an important online dating tip with you today: The current dating market is hyper-competitive and you must have interesting images that show your personality, hobbies, and high-value lifestyle to get top-tier matches.

I did not always have the same level of understanding of online dating as I do now. And back in the day, having candid professional portraits and a decent career was all you need to stand out on dating apps and get nice matches. So I mostly focused on maximizing the physical attractiveness of each client and capturing spontaneous moments.

Don’t get me wrong, this approach had worked very well for myself and my clients in the past. But the world is constantly evolving and the dating world has gotten a lot more competitive in the last few years. Allow me to elaborate.

What’s dating like in 2023 and why I had to reinvent my approach

Long story short, the standards women have for men now are getting ridiculously high and some girls I met have been on dates with guys who own boats and supercars. Having a 6 figure salary and looking good is the minimum requirement for a lot of girls.

And a former Tinder employee I met recently confirmed that 10% of the men are getting 80% of the matches.

You can NOT be a fairly attractive dude (decent looking, fit, well dressed) with a good job, take some generic portraits, and expect exceptional results on dating apps anymore. Yes I know, this is beyond ridiculous!

Plus, I’ve learned over the years that professional portraits actually don’t work very well for online dating.

Unless you look like a model, having only professional portraits in your profile will actually work against you for the following reasons:

1. You risk looking like a catfish or trying too hard

2. Girls may assume that you have no friends to take smartphone photos of you

3. Besides showing what you look like these portraits don’t really tell anything about you

So avoid using too many generic portraits for your dating profile, they won’t get you the best matches. Also, there will always be richer and better-looking guys than you. If you are just a good-looking guy with some nice DSLR photos and a decent job title you are no longer competitive on the dating apps. This is exactly why I retired my old approach and sought out new solutions.

So what do you do to compete then?

Well, like I said at the beginning of this article. You need to get some candid, storytelling photos that make you look interesting (and you need to write an intriguing bio that makes women curious, too). Travel/adventure photos, photos of you doing fun activities, and photos of you showing off your fancy lifestyle all work very well for online dating.

I will use my own profile as an example to show you what I mean.

This is the previous profile I had.

The photos I used:

1. photo of me in business casual

2. hiking photo of me in Europe

3. photo of me playing arcade

4. photo of me holding my camera

5. video of me playing guitar at home

6. photo of me having cocktails

The bio I had:

I portrayed myself as a small business owner who likes creative things and enjoys traveling and food. (My bio was too generic and boring in retrospect)

It was still a decent profile and I was matching with attractive girls. But I was also struggling with these things:

1. I could match with hot girls but they either didn’t reply or they were not very invested in the convo, I was attractive enough but not their top choice

2. Since I came across as too normal and safe, I was attracting a lot of nice girls who wanted a serious commitment right away

3. I was attracting undercover gold diggers by having a photo of me in business casual as my main photo

After analyzing my online dating results I concluded that my profile wasn’t standing out and I was being perceived as a potential husband material. While I can be that, I actually have bad-boy tendencies and I’m very adventurous. I love nature and I have lived in many cities thanks to my business. Clearly, my profile wasn’t showing that side of me and I had to make it more interesting and add some edge.

I found some additional photos I could use for my profile and tried some new photo combos and found one that works really well.

This is the current profile I’m running and I’m getting much better results.

The photos I used:

1. photo of me having cocktails (same as before)

2. hiking photo of me in Europe (same as before)

3. photo of me in Dubai wearing nice clothes (new photo)

4. photo of me playing arcade (same as before)

5. photo of me diving and surrounded by fish in Japan (new photo)

6. photo of me holding my camera (same as before)

The bio I have now:

I’m portraying myself as an entrepreneur who has traveled to cool places and lived abroad for work. I didn’t want to attract WOKE people so I included a politically incorrect joke in my bio to be polarizing and edgy. I’m also being vague about my life to build some intrigue and avoid looking like I’m bragging to her face.

My conclusion

I still look the same in terms of physical attractiveness in my current profile but I’m coming across as a more devil-may-care and exciting person. A lot of girls were very curious about my life and what I do for work. And I’m attracting girls who are more conservative, which is what I want.

I didn’t want to be too showy and try-hard when I made my previous profile. But the sad reality is that people have very short attention spans on these apps and a lot of guys lie about their height and income anyway (many girls told me that). If you want great results online you have to try harder and stand out.

To sum it up: to be competitive you MUST put your best foot forward and show that you are a unique, spontaneous, and high-value guy through your dating photos. Being a financially stable, decent-looking guy ain’t gonna cut it anymore, you also need to be interesting. And the easiest way to do this is to have photos that show off your personality, hobbies, and lifestyle.