How to Handle Rejections with the Right Mindsets

Introduction

Not the happiest topic I know, but it’s true what they say, rejection is an inevitable part of life. And I know a thing or two about that. So let’s talk about it, and hopefully, by the end of the blog, you will have a new perception of it and can handle it like the big sexy boy you are.

Reframe Your Perception of “Being Rejected”

First of all, everybody gets rejected. And not just in dating, you will get rejected when networking, making new friends, and doing business. Because people are unique with different preferences. Some people will love you, and others will simply not vibe with you.

And whenever you get rejected by a girl, it is not a reflection of your worth as a person.

Ask yourself this. Take sex out of the equation, can you honestly say you want to spend time with every single girl you meet in life? Probably not right.

You don’t like every girl, and it’s perfectly fine if not every girl likes you.

And this is a good thing!

If you try to make every girl like you, you are actually doing yourself a disservice. Because you would have to change yourself ALL THE TIME to adapt to different girls’ types and preferences.

It would be fucking exhausting living like that. And you will never be able to truly be yourself. Let alone lose out on authentic connections and chemistry with girls who are compatible with you.

Take me as an example. I have a fucked sense of humor, I love deep talks and emotional connections, and I love my lifestyle which allows me to be free and adventurous.

If I meet girls who want a stable guy who works a 9-5 job, never makes inappropriate jokes or someone who’s fine with taking emotions out of sex. And I change everything about myself to make those girls like me.

It would make me miserable and dead inside.

In this case, I want those girls to reject me. I’m not supposed to be with them. And we will be both better off being with someone else.

Rejection is often not an indication of you not being good enough for someone. It just means you two are not compatible.

In addition, whenever you are rejected by a girl. It doesn’t mean she rejected you because of who you are.

Especially when you only spent a limited amount of time with a girl when initially meeting her.

If you two only had a short conversation, one date together. How much do you really know about that girl? Not much right?

It goes both ways. She only knows very little about you, too.

Let’s say you meet the same girl in two different scenarios.

Scenario one, you are having a great day, you are feeling happy and confident, and you meet this girl at a bar and speak to her. Because of your positive vibe, she will probably like you.

Scenario two, you are stressed out from work, you skipped your leg day and not feeling proud of that, and your sleep was shit. You go to the bar and meet the same girl. You probably will be less enthusiastic and confident when speaking to her. And most likely she will not be that into you.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s the same girl, it’s the same you. The only difference is the version of you that she got to experience.

She only knows what you have shown her. And she rejected the less confident and happy version of you. But it doesn’t mean she rejected you as a person.

Also, different girls have different types. It’s ok if you are not her type.

At the end of the day, you want to stop taking rejections so personally. All it means is that you need to speak to more girls and trust me, you will meet people who just love you from the get-go.

Of course, you need to take some responsibility for how you present yourself to girls as well. You can’t just go up to girls smelling like garlic sauce, looking nervous as shit, spitting socially retarded shit and expect people to like you. (I might have done all 3 in my dirty times in life lmao)

Take Ownership of Why You Got Rejected and Adjust

Of course, don’t take rejections as a reflection of your worth because a lot of times it’s not about you. But sometimes it’s also true that you got rejected because of something you did.

So take your ego out of it and examine why it happened. Take ownership of the mistakes you made and improve your social intelligence and how you present yourself to others.

I for one have a habit of saying wildly inappropriate/offensive shit to people just because I find that hilarious. And sometimes girls would “reject” me for being a bit too over the top with my verbal vomit.

And I deserve it. I can’t blame girls for not liking me whenever that happens.

Like I said, when someone just meets you for the first time. All she knows about you is what you have shown her. If I tell a girl something retarded like: “I don’t have a job so I have way too much time on my hands. Whenever I get bored I just go around and make fun of people because it’s so funny to these sensitive little bitches getting triggered.”

Of course, she’s gonna think I’m a crazy homeless person with anti-social personality disorders.

But I can also phrase it like this: “I run my own business, it affords me a lot of financial freedom and personal time. Sometimes I just walk around town pranking strangers because it’s so funny to me. Because I believe people should have the confidence to freely express themselves wherever and whenever.”

It’s essentially the same thing. The only difference is how I’m presenting it to someone who doesn’t know anything about me.

The second one will be perceived a lot better.

So if you are getting rejected by girls. It’s helpful to examine how you are showing up to them and improve the weak spots in your presentation and communication.

Never Become Afraid of Being the authentic YOU

It’s important to remember that not everyone will like the authentic you. But this should not make you doubt yourself and start adapting your personality to please others. As long as you are being the most relaxed, confident, and happy version of yourself when you are meeting girls. You are all good.

I know it sucks when you have done everything right, present yourself in the best way possible, and someone still rejects you.

But it is perfectly fine. You just need to keep being you and go talk to more girls. Take it on the chin and keep going. Never feel ashamed for being who you are by people hating on you or not liking you. You are a unique gift to this world and you will find your tribe. I’ve experienced this time after time again in my life. Sometimes it just may take a little more time and speaking to more people.

There’s a lot of pressure in this world to conform, filter what you say, hide your truth, being someone you are not for acceptance.

I say fuck all that.

Do you want to be truly happy or do you want a bunch of bullshit relationships with people you don’t even like in the first place?

Let’s dare to be who we truly are and let the right people be in our lives.

To quote one of my favorite bands, whatever you do, don’t become another brick in the wall.

Conclusion

Rejection is an inevitable part of dating or life in general. Do not be afraid of it, it will happen, and it’s a great thing. Of course, if you are doing stupid shit or presenting yourself less optimally, and getting rejected for it, you need to fix that. But the most important thing is that you stay true to who you are, dare to be bold, and be confident in who you are. And naturally, you will find people you just click with. And no need to have resentments for people who “reject” you. You are just not compatible as people.

Go out and find your tribe, my friends. They are out there.