As a Man You Have to Compete from a Healthy Place to Win in Life

I had this thought recently while I was high on some good legal Canadian weed and reflecting on life.

I thought,

“As a man, the only way to thrive in life, get everything you want, and have true inner peace is to be better, stronger, and more competitive than most other men”.

And I don’t wanna say this to make anyone feel bad. This is only my personal view, maybe you don’t operate like me and that’s perfectly fine. If you are happy and content with your current life then more power to you.

But the thing is a lot of people also live in denial.

They know they want more out of life, they know they are unhappy about certain things in their lives, and they know they are not living up to their full potential. But it’s easier to just lie to yourself and tell yourself everything is great.

I did that too.

Last year I was going through a transitional phase in life.

I used to think I wanted money, girls, and freedom to travel because they would make me happy, but once I got them I realized those things get old fast too.

I lost touch with my purpose and drive in life. Well, if none of these superficial things made me truly happy then what’s the point of doing anything?

I did not see the point of working all the time just to get more “things”.

“Fuck it, life is meaningless and I will just do the bare minimum and indulge in hedonism and cheap thrills then.”

I smoked weed daily like a degenerate. Wanted to have sex all the time. I wasn’t working hard on my goals.

All I did, in the end, was feel lost and depressed.

I remember meeting my friends and seeing them working hard and thriving in life. And on the surface, I acted like I was happy with doing fuck all and living like a degenerate. I mean, I was still making good money and having fun on the surface.

But deep down I knew I wasn’t being honest and I was feeling miserable. Doing nothing and chasing pleasures wasn’t making me happy either.

I knew that there must be more to life, I was sick of my own degeneracy and laziness.

At the same time, I didn’t really have a reason to hustle. I didn’t have anything meaningful to work towards.

One of my friends was observant enough to see I was going through some inner conflicts but didn’t say a thing to me at the time. He knew I wasn’t fully ready to change yet.

Around my 29th birthday (early this year), I did a lot of soul-searching and self-reflection. I realized my 20s just flew by and I will actually die one day. I only have a short life and it’s ending one second at a time. I will get to the finish line eventually and I will have to remember and be at peace with all my life decisions on my deathbed.

And I knew I would NOT be proud of my life on my deathbed if I keep living like a degenerate and hedonistic person.

But forget about the whole YOLO thing.

Because I was coasting through life in 2022. My friends started making more money than me, my competitors were catching up with me, and I looked like shit with my bloated face. I was literally becoming the bottom bitch in real-time. Both in my friend groups and when I met new people.

I got soft. Looked worse. I wasn’t getting the same level of respect and attention because I wasn’t projecting the winning energy anymore.

I had to admit to myself that there’s no “have your cake and eat it too” in life.

Because the reality of the world for men is that it is harsh and unfriendly. We are all competing with each other for women, money, and power.

If you don’t put up a good fight in this never-ending competition you will get destroyed by other men who consistently do. There’s no staying in the same spot in life. You either grow or you die.

We are not that different from other social mammals. In biology, there’s a concept called the “dominance hierarchy”.

It is a form of animal social structure in which a linear or nearly linear ranking exists, with each animal dominant over those below it and submissive to those above it in the hierarchy.

We follow the same rules in our human world.

The guys who have the toughest physical presence, the most amount of resources (money, influence, network), and the most emotional and social intelligence will have the freedom to do whatever the fuck they want in life and have unlimited access to women. And guys who don’t have these things will be fighting for leftovers and scraps.

And I’m not talking down on you when I say this right. I’m getting out-competed every day too but I made a decision to work hard and be as competitive as possible. Give me some years I will beat those guys who are beating me right now.

Once I internalized all these realizations, that’s when I decided to say fuck it, no more of this low-T shit.

If I want to win in life, I have to put in the work 24/7/365 to be the best person I can be.

And it’s important you focus on competing with your old self only. Everyone gets dealt a deck of cards in life and some people will get a better hand than you.

Worrying about what others have won’t help you. Focus on playing your hand to your best abilities.

I will never be as physically strong as someone who’s 6’4 and built. But I can still get jacked and become very lethal at fighting so I can stand a chance if I have to defend myself or protect my woman in a dodgy situation.

If I don’t wake up and work hard every day to compete. I’m always gonna have to live with the consequences of being out-competed by other men.

And there are medical studies that show constantly losing competitions will lower your testosterone level aka your masculinity.

My competitors will compete with me for potential clients and win them over. Other guys will be more attractive to girls I want and girls will choose them over me. I will not be able to command respect and influence when I meet new people.

This is the life for me if I don’t pay the price to be at the top.

And I don’t see how I can live my life in a non-competitive way ever again.

As a guy, you need to out-compete other men to get the things you want. Or be ok with the fact that other men will get the things you want while you don’t. It’s a harsh world out here my friend.

But the hippie/lazy phase I had was needed for me to have a more holistic view of competition and hard work.

When I was younger, I was working a lot to get money and girls. But it was empty and pointless. So I swung the pendulum to the other extreme and become a tree-smoking hippie. But that was empty and pointless too.

If you just want money and sex right now that's fine too, but you need to pay your dues to get them.

I’ve found a more balanced approach to life since then and I have a different take on having a purpose in life now.

My purpose used to be very selfish and it was all about what I wanted out of life. Don’t get me wrong, I still want money, girls, and status now because it’s fun. But I actually care more about how I can work hard to make more money and get more influence so I can use these tools to make a positive impact on the world and leave a legacy. It’s less about what I can do for myself and more about what I can do to serve the world.

I don’t think chasing happiness is as important to me right now.

I care more about feeling proud of who I am as a man, the actions I take every day, feeling like I’m making a positive contribution, and serving others.

It’s not all about me, me, me anymore.

I need to work very hard to become the strongest, smartest, and richest person so I can do more good for the world. And this gives me inner peace and a strong purpose. On most days I wake up driven, grounded, and grateful nowadays.