Why Your Online Dating Photos Need to Look Candid

Introduction

Often I get clients who tell me that they have taken some dating photos previously and still got poor results on dating apps after multiple photoshoots.

And they are skeptical that online dating will ever work for him.

Whenever that happens, I ask those clients to show me their dating profiles so I can diagnose why their current photos aren’t working.

Most times, the issue is that their dating photos look staged and too “professional”.

To have success on dating apps in 2025, your photos must look candid (captured without you expecting, not staged) and natural (you look relaxed and in a positive mood).

And I’ll explain all that in this article.

Understanding Female Psychology

As I mentioned in previous blogs, men and women evaluate their potential dates on different criteria.

And guys I’ve worked with typically have this misconception that as long as they hire a photographer and take some good photos it should be enough to get matches.

But this is far from the truth in reality.

Looking physically attractive is important to women. But they also look for intangible qualities in their dates.

You need to understand that to women on dating apps, you are essentially just a stranger. And women are a lot more concerned with their safety than us guys when it comes to meeting a guy from the internet.

They will screen guys very hard to make sure they don’t go on dates with dangerous people or weirdos.

To get matches on dating apps you must show women that you live a fun life, you are often doing social things with other people (attractive).

This shows women on dating apps that you are not a social outcast or a serial killer (unattractive).

And candid photos that look like they were taken by your friends in social settings communicate exactly that to women.

Professional and staged dating photos do not communicate that. Those do the opposite actually and will hurt your chances.

Why Staged Photos Are Not Ideal

So let’s do a thought experiment and put ourselves in a woman’s shoes.

You come across this guy’s profile. And he’s kinda cute but all his photos look like they were taken by a professional photographer, and everything looks staged.

It’s fair that you’d be thinking: “Hmm…does he not have a social life? Why doesn’t he have any photos of him traveling, photos taken by his friends, photos of him at events?”

Right???

And most women would be turned off by this even on a subconscious level.

I know it’s hard to admit, but if your profile looks like that right now, it does not communicate that you are a cool social guy with a fun life.

This is exactly why professional and staged photos don’t work well for dating apps because they paint you in a negative light on a psychological level.

What Candid Photos Communicate

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t hire a dating photographer.

I’m saying that you need to get candid photos at social places that look like they were taken by friends casually, even on a paid photoshoot.

Because having candid photos on your dating profile communicates three things that are attractive to women.

A. It shows that you are not trying too hard at online dating. It looks like you already have some good photos taken by friends and you just threw them up on your Tinder profile. It’s a lot more attractive than paying someone money to do your dating photos. Effortless = sexy.

B. It shows that you have a fun life, and you do cool things with your friends. And you are a socially well-adjusted person who can maintain relationships and other people trust you. And you probably won’t turn out to be a serial killer if a girl decides to meet you in person.

C. By definition, candid photos are photos that were taken in the moment, photos that “just happened”. These photos are more authentic than staged photos and show someone’s personality/vibe a lot better. And in the social media age, authenticity is rare and attractive.

So yeah, you can still pay someone to do your photos. But instead of taking headshots, portraits of you sitting somewhere, leaning on a wall, etc. Ask your photographer to hang out with you as a friend, go do some fun activities, and take candid photos while you are just having fun.

How to Get Candid Dating Photos

Don’t get me wrong, taking candid-looking photos on a photoshoot is no easy task. As good as I am at doing this, it still takes a lot of time and effort to do these photos for my clients.

But I’ll do my best in this blog to explain my process using a real-world example (taking dating photos at a cafe) and hopefully, you will get some helpful tips and insights from it.

Let’s say, you are going to a cafe with a photographer to take some dating photos.

Normally, you will feel a bit anxious in that new environment, and you will need to give your brain some time to relax first.

Don’t jump straight into taking photos yet. Sip your coffee, soak in the environment, and chat with your photographer for a bit.

By doing this, you will build some rapport/trust with your photographer and you will not be too self-conscious when they will be taking your photos.

You can also adjust the way you sit in the cafe chair, and take some slow and deep breaths, this way your body will slowly become more loose and relaxed.

You will be calming down your anxious brain and make yourself feel more at ease in an unfamiliar environment by doing all of the above.

Lastly, it will be great if you can adjust your expectations, reduce performance anxiety, and take pressure off yourself.

Just tell yourself that the photos taken at the beginning of the session will most likely be crappy anyway, because this is usually the case, and do not be too hard on yourself if you don’t like the initial photos.

Trust in the process, as you get more relaxed and the photographer starts to figure out how to work with you, your photos will be coming out better as time goes on.

By becoming more comfortable with your photographer and environment, plus taking pressure off yourself. You will naturally become more “loose” and get more natural-looking photos.

But this is only one part of the equation.

A lot of times, your dating photos look staged because you were actually posing (striking a pose and being perfectly still) for the camera.

Candid photos are taken while someone is in the middle of doing something and unaware that they are being photographed.

To get candid-looking photos on your dating photoshoot, you need to reverse engineer this process.

Going back to the cafe example. How would most people go about getting a dating photo at the coffee shop?

Most likely, they would be holding their coffee cup still, smiling into the camera, and waiting for the photographer to click the shutter.

This approach is not terrible but it won’t make your photos look candid.

Stop thinking like you are a model who’s posing for photos, instead, think of yourself as a movie actor who’s acting out a movie scene.

And the scene in this example is “getting coffee and joking around with your friend/photographer”.

Drink your coffee, have a fun conversation with your photographer, and have your photographer take a ton of photos as you are doing it.

By moving your body constantly and being more active, it will also make you look more relaxed and natural in the photos.

Rinse and repeat until you have enough photos to choose from. In the end, you just pick the best photos.

As if your photographer is filming the whole scene and screenshotting the best moments afterward. Hope this makes sense.

This is how you can get candid photos, not rocket science but not easy to execute well either.

Conclusion

I hope this article explains the psychology behind why candid photos are more effective/attractive than staged and professional-looking photos.

Next time you go on a photoshoot, remember to relax and stay moving. Instead of striking poses and holding still while having your photos taken.

If you don’t get a candid-looking photo right away that’s perfectly normal. Just repeat the process and you will eventually nail it.

That’s it for this blog. Until next time!