Female Online Dating Experience and Valuable Takeaways

Introduction

Hey guys, in this article I’m going to talk about what online dating looks like for women and how this affects us guys. 

There are lots of valuable lessons here so make sure you pay close attention. 

Guys often complain about how “unfair” and “harder” it is for guys to get matches on dating apps. 

But online dating isn’t simply “easier” for women compared to us and it’s never productive to take on a victim mindset. 

Yes, it’s absolutely true that even an average girl will get an insane amount of attention from guys, but they also have their own unique challenges and struggles. 

As guys, we must understand the reality of online dating from the female perspective and apply these lessons to become savvier with online dating ourselves. 

What I’m about to tell you may sound brutal at first but I’m not discouraging you from online dating at all. 

Getting dates with great women consistently isn’t that hard if you know what you are doing. 

Ok! Let’s dive in!

What Does Online Dating Look Like for A Girl

Overwhelming Amount of Likes From Men

Yup, you are absolutely correct if you think girls get far more likes and matches on dating apps compared to us guys. 

Even if a girl is average looking she will get hundreds of likes from guys every single day. Especially on popular apps such as Tinder and Bumble. 

Some relationship-oriented apps such as CoffeeMeetsBagel and Hinge artificially limit how many likes you get each day, so she may only get dozens of likes a day. 

Unfortunately, most girls will be using multiple apps simultaneously. 

If a girl has been on dating apps for a while she will definitely have hundreds of matches already and thousands of likes. 

This means the majority of the girls you come across on dating apps have far more male attention than they can handle. 

And they are fairly confident that they can match with most of the profiles they swipe right on.

She Will Get Bombarded with Messages 

Most girls' inboxes are constantly being blown up by their matches on dating apps. 

As soon as she gets a match, often the guy will send her a message instantly. 

She may chat with him a bit but she will usually lose interest in the guy fairly early into the conversation. 

This is not her fault. There are simply too many options available to her and most guys suck at texting. 

But this won’t stop the guy from trying though. Most guys will message her a few more times even after she completely stops responding. 

At the same time, she’s still matching with new guys who are also hitting her up. 

This may sound like a dream to you right now but in reality, it’s actually exhausting to deal with so many messages all the time!

Especially when the messages are often boring, butt-hurt, and creepy. 

This is also one of the biggest reasons why women get frustrated with online dating apps and quit them. 

Far More Guys on Dating Apps Than Girls 

What’s the number one complaint guys have about nightclubs and bars? 

“This place sucks, it's a sausage fest!” 

Yup, dating apps are just like real life. The majority of the active users are men on almost every single dating app out there. 

A study shows that the ratio of men to women on Tinder is 3 : 1. 

This means there are at least 3 guys competing for every girl on dating apps.

The worst part is, if you don’t have a good profile, you don’t even get to compete because you won’t get any matches to begin with. 

It is brutal.

But the good news for you is that most guys have terrible profiles so you are actually only competing with other guys at the top.

It’s Pretty Easy for Her to Date Up

In general, men have no problem dating down in the short term but most women are very selective with who they want to mate with. 

Why are both genders wired so differently? 

Well, it becomes pretty obvious if you look at mating from a biological point of view. 

Men are wired to reproduce as much as possible and there's a lower cost to men if they get a woman pregnant. 

However, it's a totally different story for women if they get pregnant with the wrong man. 

She would have to deal with the abortion or carry a baby for 9 months. 

This is exactly why it’s entirely possible for women to date guys who have a higher mate market value than her, at least in the short term.

With online dating apps, this tendency is even more amplified given how much abundance women have with attractive and willing men. 

You can read more about this in a BBC article here.

However, Most Guys Are Clueless/Unmemorable/Creepy 

I know what I just talked about sounds very bleak but this doesn’t mean you should just go delete all your dating apps right now. 

If you ever get a chance to check out a woman’s dating app, you will realize that most guys have terrible profiles and conversational skills. 

Everyone is using low-quality selfies, blurry smartphone photos, and sending generic messages. 

The majority of the guys are just bland and boring, they are not your competition at all. 

Some guys are downright creepy, emotionally unstable, or weird. 

This is actually a good thing!

What I'm trying to say is, If you can stand out, you will be a breath of fresh air for women and you will get more matches than you can handle!

Guys with crappy photos and sending boring messages don’t matter at all. 

Your only competition is other guys with great photos and savvy social skills. 

Her Default Pattern is to Swipe Left

To sum everything up, there are way too many guys on dating apps, most guys are clueless and boring, and women are trying to land a date with the best guys they can get. 

Therefore, women on dating apps have an extremely low tolerance for bad photos and messages. 

Their default pattern is to find out reasons to disqualify a prospect as fast as possible.

They swipe left on most of the profiles. 

As a guy, you have to make sure you are on top of your game if you want to do well on dating apps. 

Takeaways and Lessons For Guys 

Good Enough isn’t Gonna Cut It

It’s a common misconception many guys have that they will match with girls similar to their physical attractiveness by default. 

But unfortunately, online dating just doesn’t work like this. 

As previously mentioned, dating apps have an unbalanced female-to-male ratio, and women are able to date up. 

As a guy, you really have to give your 110% effort to stand out or you have very little chance of doing well on dating apps. 

Don’t be discouraged, however, you can definitely crush online dating as long as your profile is great.

But you have to put in the work to become one of the top 20% of men on apps. 

Hit the gym hard, dress well, and make sure your photos are on point!

Guys on the Top are Gonna Get the Majority of the Matches/Dates

As I already mentioned, the majority of the guys on dating apps are spinning their wheels in the mud. 

Guys on the top get a disproportionate amount of matches and dates. 

Don’t get butt-hurt about this, complaining won’t change anything. 

Just put in the work to become one of the top guys and you will have zero trouble with dating the woman of your dreams. 

Your Profile Absolutely Has to Stand Out and Be Creative

It blows my mind how little effort most guys put into their dating profiles. 

So many guys put up low-quality photos taken in bad lighting (which makes them look unattractive)

And most profiles look like every other profile out there, a selfie here, a gym photo there, and a random group photo to throw in the mix. You get the idea. 

So how do you stand out then? 

First, you have to use high-quality images taken in good lighting. You have to look physically attractive and stylish in the photos.

This is the basics. Then ideally you should have interesting photos that stand out from all the other generic profiles. 

It could be a photo of you doing some cool activities, giving a public speech, or traveling to fascinating places. 

I have another article that talks about being creative with online dating photos, you can read more about it here. 

You Have to Be Great At Texting 

Most guys have very poor conversational skills and the majority of the first messages a girl gets are very similar to each other. 

Most guys will make some references to her bio or just the infamous “Hey how are you”.

Trust me girls are fed up with this and they want someone original and interesting. 

The first message needs to stand out without coming across as trying too hard.

Also, most guys are so eager to impress. 

They are either coming across as a people pleaser or bragging. Both are unattractive. 

Most times, a girl wants to feel like you are an interesting guy who’s still kinda on the fence about her and she has to win you over.

So take a step back and chill out before you send her a big paragraph about your life story. 

Be intriguing, bust her balls playfully, and ask her questions to find out if she has the qualities you are looking for.

You Have to Move Fast

Whenever you are talking to a girl on the app and things seem to be going well, I can almost guarantee that there are dozens of other guys in her inbox hitting her up at the same time. 

If you keep beating around the bush because you are playing it safe, someone else is going to take her out on a date before you. 

Even if she likes you initially, she will eventually become more interested in other guys she has already gone on great dates with. 

You have to move fast!

As soon as she shows enough interest in you, move the conversation to Instagram or texting! And plan a date in person as soon as possible. 

If you don’t do this, she will disappear from your life forever almost every single time. 

If you mutually like each other, ask her out ASAP!

Conclusion 

I hope this article has given you some valuable insights into what online dating apps are like for female users. 

By no means I’m trying to discourage you from online dating. As long as you use the information to your advantage you can absolutely crush online dating and be a breath of fresh air girls go crazy about. 

Talk soon!