Introduction

Have you ever gone on a date with a girl and talked with her all night, only to end the date with her telling you something like “Well it was nice to meet you.”

And you were left there scratching your head and wondering where the fuck it went all wrong?

Well, most likely, your interaction with her was too platonic or logical to create enough chemistry and sexual tension between you two. In other words, you didn’t flirt with her and made her feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

I also struggled with this for a very long time and made a conscious effort to improve my skills. I will share everything I know with you in this article.

Make Sure She’s Attracted to You Before Flirting

A girl has to be somewhat attracted to you first before she becomes receptive to you flirting with her. So build some initial attraction first, and this is how you do that.

You want to look good

I mean it’s common sense, isn’t it? Make sure your outfit, personal grooming, and hygiene are on point before you show up on dates.

You want to display your value

Physically attractiveness is important to women, but they are also biologically driven to mate with guys who can ensure the protection of her and her children. This is why you must demonstrate your social status and competence to women on dates.

In practical terms, you want to show a girl that you are a high-value guy before you start flirting with her. And don’t be a try-hard when you do this, just nonchalantly talk about things like your successful career, how other men follow your lead, how you can physically defend yourself, and how you have had success with other women of her caliber in the past.

Once you have built up your value in her eyes and she’s attracted to you, she will respond a lot more positively to your flirtatious remarks and witty one-liners.

Avoid Logical Conversations Like This

A common mistake guys make when talking to girls they like is that they are too logical and the conversational topics are very platonic. As if they are just talking to another guy friend of theirs.

So a typical conversation would go something like this:

Guy: “Where are you from?”

Girl: “I’m originally from Vancouver but I live here now”

Guy: “Oh no way. How do you like Toronto so far?”

Girl: “I love it! Nightlife is so much better and you have a lot more opportunities”

Guy: “Nice. So are you studying or working here?”

As you can see, this is the same boring conversation this girl has had with 100 other people in that week and there’s nothing romantic about it. She could be having the same conversation with some random old lady at the bus stop.

You can’t blame girls for not feeling aroused by you if this is how you talk to them for the whole date. Yes, as guys we tend to have logical conversations with each other. But when we talk to girls, you want to focus on eliciting emotional responses from them. Logical conversations do not achieve that.

I will explain that in detail later in this article.

The Sexy Flirtatious Vibe You Need

When it comes to flirting, how you say things is a lot more important than the words you say. Sure, you can memorize some witty and charming lines to use later. But unless your delivery is on point, whatever you say still won’t be very effective.

One of my favorite talk show hosts is Greg Ferguson. He’s known to flirt with his female guests and make their hearts flutter. But what makes him so great at flirting is not just his sharp wit, but his devil-may-care attitude and his rock-solid confidence.

In other words, it’s his vibe that makes everything he says gold, and girls are just loving his presence. You can watch his best moments on YouTube to get a better idea of what I’m saying here.

And how do you have the right vibe when you are flirting with girls on your dates? Let’s break it down.

Calm and Playful

As previously mentioned, you want to be more playful when talking to girls and avoid coming across as serious and logical. But with one caveat, yes, you want to be playful, but not playful in a clownish way as if you are trying too hard to entertain her.

The right vibe you need to have is that you are relaxed, you speak slowly, and you are just slightly amused by how silly and cute she is you can’t help but bust her balls a little bit.

Masculine Voice

When you are flirting with girls, you must speak confidently and assertively. Not to get into details, but when we communicate with others we subconsciously change the pitch of our voices depending on who we are speaking to. We are either seeking approval, being neutral, or being assertive in the way we speak.

When we seek approval from others, we subconsciously raise the pitch of our voice at the end of each sentence.

When we are being neutral, the pitch of our voice stays flat at the end of our sentences.

And when we speak assertively to someone, the pitch at the end of our sentences goes down. Think how a police officer would give someone a lawful command.

Of course, don’t go extreme and scare the girls when you talk to them. But the point is that you do not speak to girls in a seeking approval way because that makes you look low-status and girls will lose attraction to you.

The right way to speak to them is that you are in a positive mood, and you are speaking with authority. They will subconsciously recognize you as someone who has a higher status than her and become more attracted to you.

Direct Eye Contact

You want to hold strong eye contact when you are flirting with girls because it shows confidence. Of course, look away from time to time as well, it’s not a staring contest. And pay attention to the muscles around your eyes when you are talking to girls.

When you are fully relaxed, there should be zero tension in your eyes. This is the ideal. But it’s also normal that you get nervous around girls sometimes. If you catch yourself tensing up, just look away and focus on your breathing for a bit until you are feeling more at ease again.

Smirk

Imagine you are face to face with a girl right now, she’s bubbly and telling you about her day, you two are holding strong eye contact, and you are just listening to her and loving her feminine energy. How do you show her that you are enjoying her company in the most attractive way? Do you grin ear to ear like a little kid on Christmas, or do you crack a smirk like the charming guy you are?

Yup, a smirk is way more seductive. You can also do this whenever you are teasing a girl. Just bust her balls a little, look at her mischievously, and crack a smirk so she knows you are just messing with her.

Express Yourself Fully

A lot of guys are constantly filtering themselves when speaking to girls. But this makes you overthink, hesitate, and look less confident. You need to give zero fucks when talking to girls and express yourself without holding anything back. And people can take it or leave it.

But there’s a caveat, you don’t say things that are hurtful to her. So use your common sense and don’t joke about sensitive topics such as her culture, physical looks, fashion, political and religious beliefs, etc.

How to Flirt with Someone

Alright, let’s dive deep into the technical part of flirting. I will show you some things you can say and do to create a flirtatious and fun vibe between you and a girl. And I’ll say this again, you must have that sexy vibe when you are flirting with someone. Without the right delivery and vibe, you can say and do all the right things but they still won’t work very well.

Playfully Disagree

Girls like a guy who’s a challenge and they want to feel like they have to put in some work to win you over. If you are just agreeing with everything she says, you will no longer be a challenge, and girls will get bored and start to lose attraction. So you want to playfully disagree with her sometimes. Don’t be aggressive and mean about it.

For example:

If you are talking to a girl and she’s like: “I love Taylor Swift!”

You can be like: “Oh damnnnn…you are a Swiftie? Not sure if we can be friends anymore.”

And you say that in a playful manner with a smirk on your face.

She’s likely gonna get giggly and ask you why. You don’t need to give a logical explanation to her. Just look at her disapprovingly and shake your head with a smirk. Then move on to some other topic.

Or if she’s like: “I got really good grades in school.”

Again, no logical reason is needed. You just need to be like: “Yeah, I don’t believe you. You probably failed 3rd grade twice”

Doing these things will instantly create fun banters between you and the girl.

Statement of Intent

It’s fun to keep a girl guessing if you like her or not to a point, but they are human too and they can get insecure. So at some point, you do have to tell her that you like her. And it helps to set the tone that this is a romantic interaction between a man and a woman, not a platonic conversation between two people that leads nowhere.

What you can do is throw some statements of intent when talking to a girl.

Examples are:

“You look really cute tonight by the way.”

“Are you trying to seduce me, little missy? Because it’s working.”

“So how did a cute girl from Germany end up in Toronto?”

“I get the feeling we will be holding hands and traveling the world together a year from now.”

“I feel like I can spend the rest of my life in this conversation. But let’s take it slow. I’ve been hurt before...”

“I thought I should tell you this. I don’t kiss on the first date.”

You can interject them in the conversation when talking to a girl and set that flirtatious vibe and make sure she knows you are interested in her as a potential romantic partner.

Bust Her Balls

A lot of guys put girls on a pedestal and try too hard to impress them when talking to them. Needless to say, this is the wrong dynamic to set with a girl you are interested in. They are beautiful, but they are also clumsy and silly. You don’t need to take them too seriously.

Think how you would act if you were with a little kid. You’d probably just tease the fuck out of them because they are so cute. Act the same way with girls and bust their balls when they say something ridiculous. But you should never be mean about it or she will get hurt and pull away.

Examples:

So if a girl works as a doctor and she tells you that she parties a lot. You can tease her about that.

You can sarcastically say something like: “Oh really? I don’t know if I would trust you to operate on me Doc. You’d probably show up still drunk from the night before.”

If a girl is really into crystals and spirituality. You can be like: “Guess we will be taking our first vacation as a couple to India. Oh well, at least you are not a Scientologist.”

And you say these things with a smirk and never be too serious and condescending in your voice so she knows you are just teasing her and not trying to be judgemental.

Stop Talking Dirty to Me

Whenever a girl says something you genuinely like, you want to express your approval and make her feel really good. And it’s even better if you can phrase it in a way that’s flirty and fun.

Say if a girl tells you that she volunteers at an animal shelter in her free time. Yeah, you can just be like: “Wow. I like that.”

But that’s a bit plain and boring. You can make it more emotionally impactful by saying something like: “Oh stop talking dirty to me. I’m shy” Instead.

Not only this is gonna show her that you like her, it also gonna make her laugh and blush a little.

Push Her Away Playfully Then Pull Her In

This is a great way to keep your interactions with girls exciting. You playfully push her away, telling her the relationship would never work between you two because of XYZ, and then you tell her that maybe there’s a chance because of ZYX.

This is not some manipulative tactic you do to fuck with girls’ minds. It’s purely meant to keep her engaged because girls are kinda like cats…I say this most respectfully and I love cats.

Imagine you are playing with a cat, and you are dangling a toy in from of the cat to play catch. The cat will get bored pretty fast if you are just laying the toy in front of it perfectly still and making it too easy to catch.

This is exactly what girls are like. If she feels that she can get you very easily, they get bored and move on to someone more exciting and challenging.

So imagine if you meet a girl and she’s a vegan and she likes animals. You can playfully push her away and tell her something like: “Oh boy. I’m not sure I can date another vegan. Well, it was nice meeting you.”

And you can even turn your body away and pretend you are gonna walk out of the date. And of course, you playfully do this with a smile on your face.

If she likes you she will probably get a bit nervous and start to chase you.

Then 5 seconds later, you can just be like: “Well…she does like animals and I like that. Maybe there’s still hope for us.”

Then you just go back to talking to her as normal. Make her feel like she has won you back and she can relax again.

Just in 20 seconds, you have made her feel a whole range of emotions which is arousing to her, and she knows you are not too easy which makes you a challenge in her eyes.

Just don’t overdo this or use it in a manipulative way or it will backfire. Strictly for keeping things exciting.

Subtle Innuendos

This is not something you want to do with a girl you just met. But once you feel like you’ve been talking to her for some time now and you are both attracted to each other, you can dial up the flirting to create some sexual tension.

So girls are also sexual beings just like us, just see how many erotic novels are written for them, but they usually don’t respond well to explicit remarks so you want to be very subtle about introducing the idea of sex.

The best way to flirt with girls more sexually and create sexual tension is to misinterpret something she says.

I was talking to someone recently about how I adopted a homeless kitten and how much I love her. And she responded by saying that she also found a cat in the street and took the cat home. And she showed me some photos of her cat on her phone.

Of course, I was gonna use that opportunity to misinterpret and make it sexual, because I’m such a dirty pervert. So with the biggest smirk on my face, I looked into her eyes and said: “Obviously I can tell you have a cat, and since you showed me your cat, it’s only fair that I show you my cat, too”

Because of how mischievous I was being, she got that I was making it dirty and messing with her. And I genuinely thought I was hilarious so she loved it too. And I introduced the idea of sex between us in her head without being creepy. (Depends on who’s the judge I guess)

Another example is if you are texting a girl and she tells you that she is gonna shower and get ready to meet you.

You can be like: “Well that’s an alluring invite but dinner first? I may be easy but I ain’t sleazy.”

So the key here is that you never explicitly express sexual intent, but you still want to introduce the idea of you two getting intimate by misinterpreting something she says or accusing her of trying to seduce you. And if you can make it funny and witty it will work a lot better.

And don’t do this with girls who are not very comfortable and attracted to you yet.

Conclusion

Flirting is a skill every guy has to learn and master to attract girls and make them feel aroused by you. Before you flirt with anyone, you want to lay the foundation by handling your looks, having your life together, and carrying yourself in a sexy way.

Then you can use the “techniques” in this article to make your conversations with girls more fun and flirty. Once you can do all that, your dates will go a lot better and you can avoid losing potential connections due to a lack of chemistry.